I would never have thought that I’d be someone’s mistress but I am and have been one to the same man for the last six years. When I first met Malik*, he made it very clear that he was married, with grown children and that there would never be a happily ever after involving the two of us, together. I have accepted that even though every day, I secretly hoped that he would have a change of heart.”
If you’re a single woman looking to be in a committed relationship, the last thing you want to find out is that you have fallen in love with a man who is unavailable. Dating deception is very common these days. It’s very common for married men to misrepresent themselves as being single, divorced or never married. Even single men in committed relationships misrepresent themselves as men who are available to date.
Here are a few signs you can look out for which could indicate you might be the other women:
1. He only calls or texts you during office hours or at odd times of the day – very early in the morning or in the wee hours of the night. He doesn’t reply to your texts for hours and is not available to talk freely in the evenings. He may ask you not to call after certain times because he is probably at home with his family and can’t answer.
2. He gives you money. For everyday expenses. For a birthday present, because he can’t be seen buying you that new designer handbag.
3. He is either not on social media or refuses to add you as a friend.
4.All your dates are planned last minute. He will probably call or text you at 3pm to ask if you are free to meet at 8pm the same day.
5.When you do meet you arrive and leave separately to avoid being seen together by anyone who knows him, his wife or his children.
6.You meet at private, out-of-the-way places which you would never frequent otherwise to avoid being seen by anyone who would recognize him or his family.
7.He’s unavailable most weeknights, on weekends and holidays, making excuses as to why you can’t spend time together.
8.Everything is paid for in cash and no reservations are made under his name – hotels, restaurants, shopping.
9.He is overly secretive about his life other than about work – his family, where he lives, what he does.
10.He has more than one mobile phone and won’t give you both numbers. Chances are one is for his wife and family and the other for his secret life even though he will say one is strictly for work related calls and emails.
11.He tends to call you while at the store, walking the dog, at the petrol station, these are places he has dashed out to in order to make a call and even at the airport while waiting to board his flight.
12.He either does not save your number in his mobile phone or has saved it as a man’s name.
As cliché as this sounds, follow your heart. If your instincts tell you that something is not right, chances are it probably isn’t.
You could ask him outright but chances are he will deny it. If you still need more proof, try Googling him or typing his name in Facebook but you need to prepare yourself for what you may find out about him.
(*names have been changed)