Text by Jo Sullivan
In a relationship you’re sometimes going to do and see really gross things. Over the years my friends have told me things… things I wish I could forget. They’ve agreed to let me share their stories. I call these five experiences “Relationship Horror Stories”. Fair warning, some of these stories might make you consider celibacy.
1. Toenail disaster – Tanya, 28
‘He had this really bad habit of clipping his nails and toenails, collecting the clippings in a neat pile and leaving it wherever he happened to be. I found them next to the basin in the bathroom and even on the coffee table once. There was this one night though… I reached over to get my phone on the nightstand, instead, I grabbed a pile of his toenail clippings.’
2. Intimate much – Abongile, 25
‘I got out of bed one morning and went to the bathroom. I put in my contact lenses and thought I had gone completely blind. I was so freaked out because I couldn’t see anything at all. I called him to the bathroom. Turns out, he was just lazy and put his contact lenses in my case. I had literally just put his contact lenses on my own eyeballs.’
3. Too close for comfort – Jesse, 28
‘We have completely different schedules. My boyfriend gets up a lot earlier than I do and by the time I get up in the morning, he’s long gone. I started noticing that my toothbrush was wet in the mornings. I became increasingly paranoid. One morning I touched the bristles of the red toothbrush which was my boyfriend’s. It was bone dry. I immediately phoned him and asked him what colour his toothbrush is, and without hesitating, he replied “it’s green babe.” Turns out we’ve been sharing one toothbrush for a month.’
4. Creepy crawly – James, 31
‘My girlfriend has this thing she does while we’re laying in bed together before we go to sleep. We usually lay facing one another talking about our day. In no time at all her hand is under my shirt and absentmindedly she starts picking at anything she can find, her hand crawls over my skin looking for zits. One time, she found a huge zit and popped it. She was looking me in the eyes as it oozed out onto her fingers.’
5. No going back – Ashleigh, 24
‘We’ve been living together for a while now and boyfriend has gotten used to do something really weird and I dont know how I feel about it. He’ll stand outside the bathroom door while I’m pooping and talk to me. One day he opened the door, and now it’s pretty much a standard thing he does. The other day he came in to say goodbye on his way out of the flat, and he kissed me… while I was pooping.’
Would you say these are deal breakers, or would you be chill enough to handle them? Share your Relationship Horror Stories with us, we’d love to know!
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