Falling in love is not a conscious choice but constantly dwelling in an endless vortex of unreciprocated love will keep you in a state of agony. Unrequited love is painful and heart-wrenching because it is a one-way street to late night crying and eating large amounts of ice cream to sweeten up the bitterness state you’re in. Loving another human being is not the end of the world but take notice if this love is making you feel heartbroken and unhappy.
Movies and TV shows romanticized the idea of one-sided love for decades, and mainly result in a happy ending. In real life scenarios, feelings are much more complicated than a scripted show. You cannot change what had happened but you’ve the power to change your perspective. Getting over anyone requires time, let time heal but be open to letting go. Here’s how to get back on your feet. Get over and break free from unrequited love.
- Is the object of your desire utterly clueless about your affection? Not all unrequited love is known by the other party. Sometimes an unrequited love stems from the inability of expressing your feelings to him/her. This could lead to anxiety and persistent thoughts of him/her. Why make a move? To stop the endless wondering of “what if(s)”, but be prepared for the inevitable outcome. When expressing love to him/her, think of it as an outlet for your feelings. Do not expect an expectation as it tends to lead to disappointments. When confessing your love to the said person, imagine a blank canvas and all the feelings you hold for the object of your affection are the paint. Your word acts as a paintbrush. Whatever the outcome, it symbolizes a completed painting in an art museum. If your crush is on the same page, good for you! You will feel as if you’re admiring the painting behind a red velvet rope. But if he/she rejects your love, accept it because why would you want to be in a relationship with someone who does not cherish and love you? In this case, you would want to tear apart the painting, but imagine the painting is being showcased in a museum; you aren’t allowed to even touch it. If you don’t like it, walk away without giving a second thought. Realize that you deserve better!
- Make peace within yourself. A great way is to write a letter addressing to yourself, however odd it may seem but write from a perspective of a dear friend. Encourage yourself to grow out of this one-sided attraction. A friend will want what’s best for you. Alternatively, ask close friends to write a letter to you, Remember this is about you getting over the painful longing for another. Appreciate the love of family and friends.
- Another way to get over unrequited love is to pack your bags and go travel. Your destination could be a different state or country; getting away will be therapeutic. To travel means you’re in a new environment, this will naturally block out him/her and cultivate a sense of self-awareness. When travelling solo, seeing new faces and occasionally learning from them will build your social circle and establishing a new view of life. Distancing from him/her will expand your horizon. Understand that there are plenty of other fish in the sea.
- Love yourself. Here’s a famous quote by Maya Angelou– “You may not control all the events that happen to you, but you can decide not to be reduced by them.” Once you start to cultivate a sense of self-love, you become your number one priority. Treat yourself with love and care, similar to taking care of a seedling; putting effort to making sure the seedling grows into a flower. This will flourish into taking care of you both mentally and physically. Loving oneself is loving life as well, embrace every moment.
- Distancing from songs and poems concerning unrequited love will help you tremendously. It may not be the their interest to romanticize the idea of a one-sided romance but crying to such songs and reading sad love poems will continue to make you feel miserable. Find empowering songs that puts you in a good mood. Why not select an elevating song as your personal anthem such as “Just fine” by Mary J Blige or “Shake it off” by Taylor Swift. Be inspired by the lyrics and don’t be afraid to sing-a-long to it proudly. Turn up the music because a solo dance party is never a bad idea. Liberate yourself from the suffering of this painful one-sided love.