No! The giphy above has nothing to do with girls kissing cushion but it is rather cute yes? Moving on, cushioning is the latter-day equivalent of zero-hours contract. Yeah, you might be doing the job well so? When there are tons of other CV’s of people who can do the job too, so why should we give you pension rights? All these potential human life-rafts require is a little bit of flirtatious open-ended contact to maintain interest. Think little B-team of boys or girls who could easily be taken off the bench and drafted into the A-team if things take a funny turn.
What Cushioners do to B-teamers.
Put it this way, it has nothing to do with you and there might not even be anything wrong with you for that matter to concern yourself with. It’s all about them wanting to feel wanted and needed. An ego boost if you must. It is all about THEM. Yes them, they obviously need the right dose of attention and the works and in order to gain what they want they leave breadcrumbs for their poor naive victims who hang on waiting and thinking perhaps he is going through a phase of sort and he/she will come around eventually. It’s about the moment when they know you have stopped thinking about them- perhaps via a tiny radar in their heads to detect their personal stock dropping and decide to “like” some random bit of content you’ve posted online, setting the cycle of need, excitement and deprivation up all over again. Little granules of “thinking of you” or “hey how are you” dropped at inconvenient hours, cheap links to content they possibly find hilarious and think you might like or chances are they probably haven’t even read it themselves; it’s anything bi-monthly or with more punctuation than text.
Scared yet? ha ha jokes aside. It sounds similar to ghosting but isn’t entirely similar. Haunting is almost its inverse. People who are no longer in your sexual life, but who are still clustering at the edge of your social media to peer in through the pane, wordlessly. Why though? Intent varies from the haunter wanting sex to wanting to rekindle something, sometimes they just want to wallow in this one-way mirror of their own melancholy.
How do you know they’re there? With apps of course-Snapchat, InstaStory being the most obvious as you can see who has seen your postings, it’s become possible to know who’s lurking on the edge of your awareness. Another term would be”zombie-ing”, haunting does not feed off of social technology’s capacity for anonymisation; it feeds off of its capacity to keep us all socially linked. Quite beautiful innit? Delete that sucker! Enough said.