Tired of the same old bedroom trysts with your partner? Spice it up with some role-playing!
Deep in the recesses of almost every woman is a sexual fantasy that’s just dying to come out, if it hasn’t already.
Whether you’re into the whole Pretty Woman scenario, looking for the Beast to your Belle or just dying to give hardcore BDSM (we’re looking at you Mr. Grey) a go, indulge in your kinkiest desires and unleash that inner sex kitten. Let’s get started.
BEFORE: DO YOUR LEGWORK
• Know your partner. Ensure this is somebody you can trust with your life and who cares about your wellbeing (and pleasuring you) as much as you do him. It’s important to feel in control of the situation and feeling comfortable will also make it less awkward and more pleasurable.
• Pick your characters. With so many options, thankfully you’ve got all the time in the world to exhaust every possible scenario! Have fun with your character; the student-teacher scenario is an oldie but goodie for beginners but whatever floats your boat! Don’t forget to give your characters names.
• Establish some limits. Before the pants come off, sit down with your partner and discuss some ground rules – and stick to it! Be clear with what you’re uncomfortable with to your partner. No means no.
• Understand what you’re getting into. If it’s your first time, mentally prepare yourself for what’s coming (pun intended). Watch videos, research things to say, but also be prepared that it may end up not being all it’s hyped up to be – and that’s OK.
• Agree on a safe word. The best sort are words you typically won’t be caught saying, especially during sex. Try shouting ‘Beetlejuice’ three times!
DURING: HERE WE GO!
• Look the part. Raid your closet and pick the best outfit you think your alter ego would wear. Get a wig if you must! Youtube makeup tutorials! Have fun exploring this whole other side of you.
• Stay in Character. During role play, call each other by your character names – completely immerse yourself in your new persona. For starters, go all the way and meet at a bar as strangers to kick things off.
• Speak as your character would. If you’re playing a cop, try this on for size. “You’re under arrest. Hands behind your head, and spread those legs.” Proceed to pat him down slowly, until you find his loaded weapon. You decide how this story ends.
• Communicate. With your eyes, your mouth and your body language. We don’t need to tell you how important aural stimulation is but if you like what he’s doing, let him know. Actual words not necessary.
• Be open. Encourage and embrace each other’s sexuality and ideas! Don’t judge. This is an exciting experience for the both of you to ‘open’ up— figuratively and literally.
• Have fun!
POST-SEX: YAY OR NAY?
• Did we like that? Was that fun? Did it creep you out? Was it weird? Talk about it with your partner
• Aftercare. We cannot stress how important this step is, especially when it involves BDSM. While it may feel good to both parties during the act of being dominated, the human body doesn’t register a difference between ‘consensual’ pain and the act of being hurt, so without proper aftercare, your body can still go back into fight or flight mode. So hug, kiss and caress each other after sex to restore the emotional security. Talk soothingly and alternate roles in the next session to maintain the power balance within the relationship.
• Respect Each Other’s Privacy. Some scenarios can border being inappropriate or offensive to other people, so keep things private.
• What’s next? Endless possibilities.