Marie Claire’s intern P.S.S writes about her experience with online dating.
I was well aware of this popular mobile app, I must admit I initially didn’t install it because I had a perception about the app. I felt that seeing how friends around me were using the app, for the most obvious reason “ It’s the fastest way to Hook Up” kinda put me off it. I’m one who prefers to meet people in person, rather than an app because I just don’t trust social media . It’s easy to make assumptions or predicaments about this app, but to make sure it was TRUE I had to give it a go. I told myself ONLY two weeks, and later on decided I’d use it for a month, and then it went on for slightly longer than a month. You’re probably thinking it isn’t long enough to make a judgement about an app, but I think if you end up swiping 100 men a day, and you don’t even meet that amount of guys everyday. There is something very interesting going on in Tinder for all the single girls and guys.
When I first installed the app, I already knew what I needed to do, only because I had seen it on my friend’s phones and had already messed around with the app. Basically setting up my preferences, which was my current location, distance( well that changed from time to time in order to get myself some variety), gender( initially it was men and women. Then I decided to be a little more serious with the app and changed it to men only), and lastly age range ( Well, mine is 24 – 29 years). Your pictures are taken from your Facebook account, and I was cool with that.
The next guy I swiped looked just like this man crush I had sometime ago, Benjamin Don, and I couldn’t help but swipe right just because he looked like him in the first picture. But to my disappointment, the first thing he said to me, was if I wanted to come over. Crushed by his shallow ability of at least even having a proper conversation with a lady, really??? However, I wanted to see if he was capable of a conversation, so I replied “Straight up huh?” He replied, “Yes, pretty much.” By this time I pulled out the friendship trump card, asking him if he wanted to be friends, because somewhere along the conversation he said he was here on a holiday, so I suggested that maybe I could show him around some nice places. His answer was a yes. Then, I asked where he lived, and he said Mont Kiara and killed the joy by saying, “Want to come and nurse my little man.” I guess that was just it for me.
This is Benjamin Don, btw
The next guy I swiped wasn’t so much on the looks, he was Chindian, decent looking and my judgement of him was a nice guy, when I saw his pictures and his description which read “I’m on my period, if you’re looking for a cheap hook up, sorry it won’t happen.” That kinda made me slightly interested to swipe right, whether or not he was trying to get a woman’s attention, I guess it worked. However the moment we matched, he said “So does this mean we’re exclusive now?” I thought he was being funny, and I said,“Haha, why exclusive?” Then he gives me the most ridiculous reply ever, “We’re two special creatures till death do us part. I clicked yes, you clicked yes, love is serious. Am I moving too fast?” Me being nice, I said “Haha, you probably are or you’re trying to make me laugh.” Then he asks me if I wanted a fall or summer wedding? Local or Europe? I left that conversation. Nine days later I get a message from this guy, “Friendly offer, I have a cute Chinese friend, do you want to chat with him instead?” Can you believe this guy? What nerve, I felt bad because he really did look decent, not someone I would think to behave in such a childish manner. Judgement gone wrong, definitely.
I had a few guys that gave me their first liners as “Knock-Knock.” And I ain’t and have never been one to like knock knock jokes, only because I think people can do soo much better with starting off a conversation. You don’t really haveto try hard and get creative, a hello would be suffice, but obviously it has to follow through with a good conversation which depends on the situation and the person you are speaking to. One of them ‘knock-knock liner guys, actually made it through to having a conversation with me.” In all honesty, I swiped right because he looked like one of those rappers from the U.S, and I’m absolutely in love with music having my alter ego as someone who raps, I had a feeling this guy might actually be into the music scene. Then I thought, at least if it doesn’t work out as something special we could end up doing a song together ya know, and that would be an experience for sure, at least something good finally coming out of this app. However, I’m not too sure he’d be please to know this was going through my mind, so I decided not to lead him onto anything. Though he seems to have texted me every once in awhile, to see how I was doing and wanting to get to know me more and more. But he wasn’t the one, I would go out with even after the conversations.
Soon after I met this guy, his looks were somewhat hipster but to my liking and when I saw him, I just swiped right . I would crown him the best among the rest, given the fact that this is a one month observation, he earned it. First of all, he started the conversation according to standard practice, and at least it showed that he paid attention to details written on my description. We had some nice conversations for a couple of days, the only person I actually talked to for more than 24 hours, which meant it was going well. However, along the way I didn’t feel interested enough to want to go out on a date with him, but I did tell him, that I was going to leave Tinder soon, and that I was really glad to have had a nice chat with him. He was very polite and he said some really nice things which made the goodbye easy. I like easy!
I can elaborate on all the examples, but these three seem to fit the bill just right. You may say it’s too soon to tell, but I think on a personal note I feel that old skool dating is still way better than any online dating site, which many may disagree but this isn’t a debate. Some people have proven they have found true love with Facebook, Omegle, Skype, Chat Roulette, Tinder and all the other dating platforms and I’ll just say, good for you. For me personally, Tinder kills the whole courting game, just by a swipe you already know someone likes you and the curiosity from both ends pretty much demeanor’s. I like it when a guy approaches me because he wants to get to know me. I love it when he tries to make a conversation and is not just interested in an attractive photo. I enjoy hearing his voice when he speaks, looking into his eyes and knowing that this person is real, not virtual. Many times, men may appear to have the personality and confidence behind a screen but when it’s time to finally meet in person, you’ll find that they’re not what they seem to be.
I don’t blame them, but I blame the various online dating platforms. Because people have become socially awkward, and socially awkward people have found their medium. I speak for those who want to search for a partner and that are serious about it. I’m a practical person, who looks for much more in a man than the common. Therefore, I conclude that an app like Tinder can only take me so far, and I feel that the app is perceived by many to be one to “hook up easily”, so I wouldn’t exactly trust it for something serious.
On a side note though, this was a well thought of app, it is actually an app that you can use wherever you are in the world, and you can meet locals which could make your stay at a new place or city a worthwhile experience. Maybe if I didn’t have a perception of this app, I would have a different viewpoint all together, but I guess it just didn’t work for me. Tinder app, swiped left.